Assignment 4
Assignment 4
It is dark outside, and darker inside the bedroom with the curtains drawn shut.
Little One is in bed, eyes wide open, and ready to receive a story.
It is not just any story; it will be a story that I invent, and it will be about Thomas the Train.
Oral storytelling and written stories
The beauty of storytelling live
is in the fact that I am designing a story for a specific audience.
I can make personal references that enhance the listener's engagement with my story, from using words that only he uses, and referring to events that he has personally experienced.
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I have told stories for a larger audience and in doing so I had to find such hooks to keep the listeners' attention on my words.
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Writing a story allows for more thought, and more research.
I can exchange ideas, or
simply listen to the conversations before developing my text.
This story was transcribed by the Android version of SpeechNotes
My initial reaction is to
the lack of punctuation.
I read diagonally and end up breathless as there are no indications of where to pause!
If you read this on a desktop, you should have less trouble with the script as I set the width of the transcription to the length of my breathing.
Each line was said in approximately one breath.
I wish to engage in spell-check and text editing
Elocution comes to mind. I speed up and slow down to provide drama to the story.
I may have waved my hands at some points, but the story is told in the dark, so these gestures help only me with my dramatization and not the listener with the story.
My speech skills appear muddled at moments when when I sped up my speech.
Do you want to hear us a story about Thomas the train that I invented so how about Thomas and spend one night at his friends Percy's house was Prince his daddy and mommy just three years ago yes he is and so because he's still just a little little train sometime well he needs to stay with other mommy and daddy trains he knows that they love him very much and I'll take good care of him what about your friend Percy would you like to stay thomas. All that night Thomas thoughts and thoughts what if what if what if what's a question so he's had a game very very scared and he did not sleep one wink at all that night and he was feeling very as you like to see grumpily grumpy and he didn't want to get out of bed and he didn't he didn't want to have his steam or his cold for breakfast my phone says Thomas we want you to be what is the topic Hathaway say and that means you need to have your call and you need to drink your water so that you'll have full steam to do all your tasks during the day and then Thomas all his water and he eats his calling these are the decry and he cried and I cried it was leaking oil and water everywhere thomas it's time to go and I want you to remind me to stay with me forever to and then let me know they looked at each other and said oh wait a minute shuffle going to Percy's house with Percy's mommy and daddy this my turtle who scared am I living Thomas let me know his daddy gave him a very big train hug but that's what happened the game a big train hug and he said we're going to come with you in fact when we go to the train station today you will meet Percy's Mommy and Daddy and they want to meet you I think they're a little bit scared of you you coming to my house my mommy and daddy and I we mate cool cakes water juice I even brought up my train Lego elvis was excited he smiled from bumper to buffer he's steam them so excited to Percy and he gave his mommy a big hug he gave us that he a big kiss and he said I'm not this exactly what's happened he went home with Percy and Perseus Mommy and Daddy and they play Train Lego and they ate cold headaches and it had water juice steam then they still together the whole evening and side by side in Percy's with ocean I know more than you think she was grumpy why don't you come to my house next time no thank you I'm too scared of your mommy and daddy it's nothing to be scared about their very nice train and they'll take care of you and you know what I'm going to do trading paints with you and Tommy says yes I do all right away I think maybe I'll be a week after don't you think so aunt
The errors that I see in my spoken story are with run-on sentences. The text does not convey the change in cadence, the volume shifts, and the pauses that I made during my storytelling. I wish to add commas, periods, and punctuation marks. I want to create new lines and new paragraphs to separate ideas that are connected, and that lose their context with that erroneous connection.
I wish to correct the spelling of the mispronounced words, and remove the multiple "and" that have taken the place of actual punctuation. Then I realize, these "and" moments are my vocalized way of leading the listener on. A reader flows with the space on the page, but a listener needs a lead to continue with the story.
If I could retell this story ...
I would have added more sound effects, and spoken more slowly. I would have taken more time to pause and to elicit more giggles with silly side-notes. I would have taken more time, before saying "The End".